I hugely appreciate everyone’s opinions and feedback, criticism and love over the past days and in the flurry of so many posts regarding the Vice article and reports on the MMS, it’s leaders, myself and others named. I have been writing very direct words, mainly as I am in the thick of it. Yes I’m fully aware how many have been questioning where it comes from and why I see reason to be so blunt. Why I would attack instead of be kind. Why I choose to speak out on something so sensitive a subject. Some with the courage to ask and others with the courage only to condemn. Thank you for it all. I appreciate your thoughts and words regardless of being pro or against.
I speak out and can it be seen as rude? – maybe.
Can it be judged as crude? – for sure.
Can it be questioned? – without a doubt.
Re-victimising others – absolutely not.
Where you there? Do you know the facts? Do you know the people involved personally? Have you the whole picture?
Cast stones at me for being frank. I was there and I have direct experience. This is NOT about me hurting or in pain. It is not about me. Feel free to have your own opinions and interpretations.
Sometimes a lifetime of being gracious, generous, smiling and turning the other cheek 72 x 72 times just won’t wash any longer. This is not the way I would have chosen to do it. Speaking on a public forum. It is not in alignment with who I am. I am usually quietly bearing the gossip, the brunt of other’s opinions and judgments with and mostly without foundation. Teaching, healing and helping regardless. It is time for this witch hunt to end. I am sorry if it hurts your sense of decency. I am sorry if you do not or cannot hear my words. I am sorry it is ruffling your feathers. It is not meant to hurt or hinder. Maybe it is meant to ruffle feathers. Lol. It is meant to scream WAKE UP. It is meant to say stop all the injustice. It is meant to say stop all the BS. It is meant to say it is time to stand for a new way of being.
Am I hard as nails when victimhood screams in my face? Yes, on myself much more than others. Have I said many a thing that one wouldn’t like to hear. Way too many times. Maybe I have shocked you. Disappointed you. For that I am not happy at all. Lao Tzu said “Care what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner”
I live in a country where it is the norm to play victim. Wait for a handout. To lie and cheat. Where corruption is rampant. Where life is not valued or respected. Where crime against humans is at the order of the day. Where conniving and stepping on the truth is ok so long as you get to the top. Where it is ok to destroy anyone in your way. This is not right. Yes, it will not change by fighting fire with fire BUT maybe lighting the fire is exactly what is needed.
I have given my life to uplift and serve humans even when I really don’t like what humans do or have become. I have seen violence, crime, despair and unmentionable things. I have stood in ER and OT’s many years and sutured many a wound inflicted by humans on other humans for the mere reason of being on the wrong side of another at the wrong time. I have served women violently abused. I have seen the horrors of evil. I am not alone in this. Many of those of the MMS family that have spoken out know this first hand too. I have served endlessly and always will, no matter what comes at me. I want nothing more than living in a world filled with peace and acceptance of all. It starts with little steps at a time. Standing up to little acts of injustice at a time.
I am not perfect in any way and I am the first to acknowledge it. I do not stand for lying and cheating to make yourself feel better. I stand for taking responsibility, being accountable for my choices, my words, deeds and actions. Perceived by many as good or not good.
I would have preferred to have this battle in court where my lawyers could speak on my behalf. Where everyone would be civil and decent. Where they could defend me from negative and false accusations. Where they could defend my public image and reputation. Be very clear I did not choose this medium. Now that it has come to this I am standing up and am fully capable of speaking for myself. I believe that is just. Let everyone speak on their own behalf. I find it fascinating that everyone is speaking on behalf of the people they don’t even know. Where you there? Do you know for a fact? Well then they must be victims. The one thing that I know is that I am not a victim. So leave me be to speak on my own behalf. Not someone else’s.
I am grateful to you Bernice and Mark for doing it this way so everyone in the world that chooses to say something can have the opportunity. FOR OR AGAINST! I am in awe of everyone speaking out for what they believe in, as well as the value of the hard work they have done on themselves.
I know there is karma for every word, deed and action! MINE and everyone else too. I am willingly taking my karma. Are you? I know every time I neglected to say something I will pay the price. I know that every harsh, rude, crude word will exact a price from me. I am working through my karma. I dislike the way it makes me feel. I love peace and harmony. I love good and beauty. I want to live amicably with all. I want to be left to live my life without being bad-mouthed, slandered and without the constant back stabbing. Without the whispers and the humiliation. I have worked hard to overcome my own victimhood, my powerlessness and lack of self-worth.
I will continue to speak out as this is the right thing to do.
Thank you to the Modern Mystery School International, to Founder Gudni Gudnason, Ipsissimus Dave Lanyon and Ipsissimus Hideto Nakagome for holding the lineage and making this great work available to everyone that chooses to partake of it. Thank you for all the years of judgment and criticism you have weathered from everyone you served. I have seen how you kept on serving everywhere in the world under pleasant as well as harsh conditions. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge and experience that I have received in this lineage. I have seen the results of the great work in my life and so many others. The proof is really in the fruits if you are willing to prune the branches. I will continue to prune my tree so it delivers good fruit.
I have often said that even if the people in the MMS aren’t perfect all of the time the work is good and allows everyone the opportunity to grow in light and love and stand as empowered beings. I am flawed for sure. I am imperfect yes. I am an outspoken straight shooter definitely. I do not condone violence, abuse or bringing harm to anoyone or anything.
You can judge me I will stand in it. It saddens me but go ahead judge and criticize me if you feel. This is your right to have your voice. This will be my final word on this vile article and the twisted words written. I choose now to focus on what is important in the bigger scheme of things. I wish you all health, wealth and prosperity. Bear your karma with equanimity and zeal.
I am standing up for what is right.
I was there!
I am here now!
I will be here all the way!